Monday, October 19, 2009

Taking Off My Mask

For the past couple of weeks, I have heard the word "mask". Every time I would hear that word spoken, my spirit would stir on the inside. Why? Did I have something to hide? Is there something I am hiding? Or could this be my own safe haven for survival? If no one "really" knows what's going on with me, then I am safe. But am I? So many questions from one little word mask.

The point in wearing a mask is to disguise, to hide, and to keep your true identity hidden. For me, wearing a mask became my protection. I had to find a way to keep those out that I felt would bring me harm. I could put on a mask and pretend to be stronger, faster, prettier, smarter and thinner. You name it; I had a mask for it. Hmmm, does that all sound insecure or what? I had convinced myself that whatever I needed to do to get through, I would do it. As long as it didn’t bring hurt upon anyone else.

But I am reminded daily, that God loves me just the way I am. And since He knows all there is to know about me, what is there to try and hide from Him? I mean, He is the ONLY ONE that I am to fully please. I have daily reminders that nothing is hidden from the Lord. He sees all and He knows all. I am exposed to Him from the crown of my head to the soul of my feet. And that's a good thing. It's a very good thing because I do need someone to always be accountable for my actions. For all that I say and do, and for all the places I travel that I think are private and visited in secret. Perhaps for all those times when my heart reveals its' true color when I am placed in a situation or environment with someone who is a little different from me.

When I mess up, I grab a mask. I want to cover myself from the Lord because of the guilt and shame of my sins, my true identity. I don't want Him to see me being so ugly and filthy from having a bad attitude or speaking unkind words; especially when He takes the time to wash and bathe me in His Holy Word. I don't know about you, but the devil really cranks it up after I have spent time with the Lord being refreshed, renewed, and restored.

Somewhere along my journey, I lost my identity. Maybe it was stolen from me, maybe I gave it away. Nonetheless, I now know where I am and what I need to do to get back to who God created me to be. The Lord says that He will love me despite my shortcomings. He has forgiven me for the times when I thought I had to “cover up”. He wants me to be right in Him and with others. And all that takes is for me to be true to myself, true to others and mostly true to Him. He has given me another chance to reveal the beauty that is within. No more masks!

1 comment:

  1. Your post hit a spot within me this morning, when I really needed it. Thanks for writing it.