Before I became a Mommy, I didn’t always use my time efficiently. I did lots of good stuff…just never really spent a lot of time alone with the Lord. I mean…any time I am alone, I am alone with the Lord. And I knew that, but it wasn’t really intentional. Now…I would give my left arm for more time alone with the Lord!
Even when I was Mommy to one…I spent time journaling and praying. I had my coffee and devotional. I got to really enjoy that intimacy with Him.
Now with two kids…well…I just don’t get it. I realize I haven’t had my coffee yet when my caffeine – withdrawl headache kicks in at noon. I eat my breakfast in a hurry. I potty with company. I dress with an audience. I shower with many interruptions. There is hardly ANY alone time. And often…at the end of the day…when the (amazing, wonderful, blessings from God) children are in bed…I stare at the wall exhausted. Or I want to do something to keep my mind from thinking at all – like watch a movie.
This has started to REALLY bother me…so I set out to make a change. I decided that I WOULD make time like I used to…time alone with my creator! So…I did. I got the kids occupied with a movie and got all my stuff ready…sat down…deep breath…open the book…and can you guess what happened??? Mmmmm Hmmmm….the kids went CRAZY! There was fighting and yelling, and toys being thrown. There was lots going on – none of which involved me and what I had planned. After several times trying…I gave up.
Well, I kinda gave up. I had Gracie sit in her bean bag. And I had Owen sit in his. I sat on the couch. And I used what I learned from my counselor friends! I had each of them take turns praying and then I prayed. It didn’t take half an hour…but it was time with the Lord.
It was enough to get me through the day anyway. And I just reminded myself that this is a season in my life. There will be a time again where I can have my peaceful, quiet, beautiful coffee breaks with Him. Being all upset and frustrated that that time isn’t now…isn’t helping anything.
We pray together every day now. Gracie takes even days and Owen takes odd days to determine who starts first (another suggestions from my counselor), so there isn’t any fighting over that. And they get to hear their Mommy pray – which can only be good. I also remind myself through out the day to pray and get little moments with God. I have scripture posted around the house so I remember to read it. And I don’t beat myself up about it anymore. I am pretty sure God wasn’t very happy about that anyway!