My oldest will be nine next month. She is a little firecracker--tough and athletic while also tender and caring. A few months ago, she mentioned that she wanted to get her hair cut like mine. I keep my hair short and even have it shaved some in the back. My hair is really thick and the texture is not the same as hers, and I haven't felt like the look would work for her.
The time she first asked, I told her no and she opted for a shorter do than normal but still longer than mine. She then wanted to grow it out for a few months before deciding last night that she once again wanted to go short. "I want my hair like yours. I want to be like you." I told her she was welcome to cut it short again but that I still didn't think she could do my cut.
When she got it cut today, she sat in the chair and told her hairdresser that she wanted it like mine. Both her stylist and I agreed that it probably wasn't the right cut for her yet, but we compromised with a similar style that is just a little longer (and does not involve any shaving).
Why am I telling you this? And what in the world does it have to do with God? This is the women's ministry blog, right?.... Well, I'm telling you because I can't stop thinking about how she wants to be like me. She wants to wear clothes like me (she loved to wear similar maxi dresses this summer); she wants her hair like mine. It's easy to see the desire to be like me as cute (or maybe even annoying), but I keep seeing something more.
If she wants to be like me on the outside, then, chances are, she's becoming a lot like me on the inside. My actions, my attitude, my relationship with Christ are all being shown to her in the day to day living, and she is becoming like me. Part of me has known this from the day she was born, but it is something I still find overwhelming at times.
As she becomes like me, who is she becoming? Is she becoming selfish? hot headed? gracious? judgmental? welcoming? kind? like Jesus?
Somehow it's easier for me to see the things that need changing in me and take them lightly when I see only how it affects me. But when I see its ripple effect--how it trickles into my children's lives, my husband's life, even my Facebook friends' lives, then it wakes me up. I don't want my sins to be carried into the next generation. I don't want people to look at me and see me. And I don't want my children to look at me and want to be like me. I want them to see Jesus, and I want them to want to be like Him.
(I know, I know, that doesn't change the hair cut....But, maybe it will change me....)
The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. (I Samuel 16:7)
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