2011 (and 2010 if we are keeping track) hasn't been an easy year for us. It has been trying...and overwhelming...and down right hard more often than I would have liked. And to be honest...I really hope that your 2012 can look a lot like that.
Have I lost it??? Am I wishing bad things on you and yours? Of course not!!! I hope that you can get out of 2012 what we got out of 2011 as painlessly as possible. But, I do hope that you can gain an understanding of what we learned and obtained through these times.
Because when I say that this past year has been rough...I have to follow that up with saying that it has BY FAR been the most amazing, beautiful, blessed year of my life. My husband agrees...and (depending on the day you ask), I'm pretty sure my kids would too. I think that this new way of understanding living started when we traveled to Uganda to adopt our son (October 2010).
It continued as we started the transition to becoming a family of 4. It has continued as we have walked through my almost 5 year old's juvenile rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis and treatment. Then when my husband fell through a church's ceiling while working (as a firefighter) on a structure fire. Through his surgery and 8 months of rehab - and working a desk position. Through the financial burden that put on us. When we realized that our transition to "normal" life with our son would last far longer than we anticipated due to the things he went through before we got to him. Lots of things have happened...and we have just sort of sailed through. Put our heads down and trudged forward. Didn't always do it right, but for the most part...we have been thankful for it all. With every hard time...there is triumph to celebrate. And we have (again, for the most part...nobody is perfect) chosen to focus on the triumph.
And there have been these incredible moments...that I really can't explain...the kind of moments that make me tear up with joy to think about them. The moments where my son looks up at me (despite his history) and says that he loves me. When my daughter sits in my lap, takes a deep breath, takes her shot like a champ, and shows this pure, brave, proud smile...cause she knows that she. is. amazing. The moment I found out that my husband caught himself with his shoulder and was dangling above church pews...then pulled himself up with ligaments and tendons that were shredded. The moment our friends came together to bless us and help us make ends meet.
I am sharing this with you for a reason. I want you to understand that this life we live isn't easy (who can argue with that???). There are people I know who are going through things right now that I can't imagine going through. They make my year look like a walk in the park...yet they have peace. Sure, they hurt and cry, BUT they know that as long as you KNOW JESUS, everything is going to be OK. In fact, it will be so much better than OK. It will be perfection.
So, what I am really saying is that I hope your hear is filled with HIS peace, HIS joy, and HIS understanding. Not your own. Because HIS love isn't circumstantial. And HE will carry us through every moment of every day of 2012. We need only to be still.
Very humbling read! Through all that you still managed a smile and showered Gods grace through your message. Life isn't easy but like you said God will carry us through every moment of everyday! You and your family have been an amazing blessing to my life. Thank you for opening my eyes to new possibilities on how to spread Gods unconditional love.
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