Lord, I'm Amazed

Yesterday at church we sang a song, the lyrics of which distracted me from the lovely melody. "Lord, I'm amazed by you," the words go, repeating three times. One might be silently agreeing with the concept that, yes, the Lord is amazing. After all, there's so much about him that is awesome, powerful, inspiring, worthy of worship. But it was the final line of the refrain that took my mind in another direction.

"Lord, I'm amazed by you...how you love me."

What's amazing here is how he loves me. The fact that he loves me. That his love for me drove him to the cross on my behalf. That his love never wavers even when I turn my back on him, disobey and snub his direction. That I can do nothing to earn--and therefore lose--his love. I am amazed!

And all that got me thinking about my children.

They could basically sing the same thing about me, except that I don't love perfectly. But I do love them in ways that should amaze their newborn, preschool, and elementary aged little minds. I feed them, clothe them, hug and kiss them, carry them, comfort them, instruct them, provide everything their little beings need at this time in their lives. They are helpless without me (and Daddy). And when they disobey and yell and whine and hit and bite and make terrible choices...I still love them. It just doesn't matter what they do--the love remains.

The song included a beautiful word picture: "You dance over me, though I never hear the sound..." And it reminded me of the times I held my babies in my arms, usually at bedtime, and danced in the dark with them for just a few moments before putting them down to sleep. Those were sweet, treasured moments.

And so it is with our heavenly Father. "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zeph. 3:17)

Becoming a parent has done more for my perspective on the love of God than any theology course or sermon ever did. Even discipline means something different now. It's like I get it. Father/Mother love isn't dependent on behavior. My kids might disappoint me but I'll never not love them.

God tells us, and shows us, the same thing. Lord, I'm amazed!

"Children Learn What They Live"

Children Learn What They Live

By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

This beautiful poem was written by Dorothy Law Nolte and was a poem I grew up knowing. It actually hung in my home. Although it is not taken from Scripture, one can certainly see many points that align themselves with GOD's word.

The author was a lady who wrote a column in the 1950's. Her column was due and she had a deadline to meet. So, at her kitchen table she decided to write something meaningful to her. She penned out 19 truths of parenting that could impact a child's life. Parents started using the poem to raise their children. A prince in Japan was using it to raise his princess daughter and said it was life changing. A baby food company was using it to sell its food. It was a hit! Then, later in 1972, Mrs. Nolte published the poem itself and it became even more popular.




Mrs. Nolte went on to write a book called Children Learn What They Live and later a book for parents of teens called Teens Learn What They Live (both available on the Focus on the Family website). The first book has 19 chapters that correspond to the nineteen points in the poem. This poem and the ideas were so transformative that Mrs. Nolte became a famous family counselor and speaker.




When one looks at the poem in its entirety one might feel one of two ways. One could feel encouraged, "Wow, this gives me some direction! I want my child to learn to be generous, so I will give her opportunities to share." Or one may feel overwhelmed, "Wow! No wonder my kids fight, our home is hostile!" Or perhaps, "It certainly is a tall order to get all this right!"




Let me encourage us as moms to see this poem as a great way to take a little bit of wisdom and make it go a long way. If there is some criticism in your home and you see where it can lead, then pray and work to stop just this one area. Claim a Scripture for it. Also, look for an area of character development you want to see in your child or home. If you want to see security, seek the LORD in this. Pray it over your children, with your spouse if you are married, and even with your children. Find Scripture that claims security in Christ.




Post this poem as a reminder of the power of both the positive and negative in our children's lives. Remember GOD wants us to succeed as Moms. He wants us to come to Him with our needs.

"We can say this, because through Christ

we feel sure before GOD.

I do not mean that we are able to say that we can do this work ourselves.

It is GOD who makes us able to do all that we can do."

II Corinthians 3 4&5

We do not parent in isolation, but with an Almighty Father. We do not have to be the perfect Moms when we look to the Perfect Father and remember that we too are His daughters!




Dear Father, Help us remember that our children do learn what they live. Help us let You guide their lives as we parent them in Your ways.


jill

A Loving Friend

For Your love is ever before me and I walk continually in Your truth."

Psalm 26:3

Well, it is here again, the time of year that causes my heart to ache and stirs memories within me that are so painful I can barely recount them in full. I can only remember the memories in part, in certain pieces, at certain times. And I am only a removed part of the story. I am not a central figure, not a main character, not a family member, not even the closest friend. I am one of many friends who loved, and still love, a family who lost a wife and daughter . . . this day . . . seven years ago.

I am blessed to be part of a wonderful group of girls who get together once a month. Sometimes one of us might miss due to a husband having a meeting, a sick kid, ballgames, you get the idea. But, we have had the group going for close to 9 years. We add to our group, girls move, but the corp remains. Seven years ago we had our Christmas get together at my girlfriend's house. We had maybe the best night ever. One of our friends was about to have her second child. We were all excited about having Christmas with our young kids. We laughed about how silly the show the "Bachelor" was (it was a relatively new show back then!) and how blessed we were to have our husbands. Life was pretty great. In fact, it felt like it could not get any better this side of heaven, at least for me it did.

That following Saturday, my girlfriend who hosted the Christmas party, called me rather late. In this phone call she told me that one of our members, our sweet precious friend, had been killed along with her daughter. Her husband was also in the car and was in serious condition and in the hospital. Their son was not in the accident. Scott and I could not believe it. She told us it was true, we said we loved each other and hung up. Scott ran out the door to get a paper. The husband/dad is his good friend. He had to find some proof of the accident, he just could not believe it. He found none. But, we did call the hospital. The next morning we were there at 8:00 am to meet and pray with a man who had just lost almost everything. Yet this amazing man had his faith, and his boy.

We were all shaken, horrified, broken-hearted. They had been killed by a drunk driver. This is a sweet, loving, Christian family. They help others, serve the community, love each other. Drunk driving. Drunk driving. Drunk driving. Only by GOD's grace did a family and community move on.

I miss my friend. She was so funny! She loved so much. She left notes. She was very talented. She left notes about her faith. She loved her husband. She was thankful. She loved her kids. She made an impact on my life. I am thankful for her.

My friend taught me much. She didn't seem to ever hold back. What a lesson for us to learn as we head into the holidays. I want to love like this. Christ loves like this- with abandon. I love my girlfriends. I love you, girls! I love my kids! You are my wonderful gifts! I love my husband! My best friend and so much more- you make my life so great!!!

I want to celebrate this year and every year knowing my kids have the knowledge that their mom lives her life to the fullest- not just that she wants them to live their life to the fullest. Do they see me laugh, joke, run, sing? Do they hear me talk to GOD? Do they see me read my Bible? Am I leading them closer to their Savior each day? Do they see me loving their Daddy? Am I soaking it up?

"Guide me in Your truth and teach me,

for You are GOD my Savior,

and my hope is in You all day long."

Psalm25:5

I wish you all peace and safety this holiday. For those of you grieving the loss of a loved one, a marriage, a relationship, or a job, I wish you the peace and comfort that only the Holy Spirit can bring. In honor of my sweet friend and her precious daughter, I wish you the fearlessness to love with abandon in the power of the Almighty!

Love and Merry Christmas, friends!

"Father GOD, let me love in Your way. Let me lead those you have given me. Let me follow those you have set over me. Teach me to love without fear. I love You."
jill

Double Digit Trip

As I look toward the beginning of yet another school year, I reflect on this past summer. It has been one filled with great times and some difficult challenges. GOD has been present in all. I am especially reminded of one day when His presence taught a very special lesson to one of our precious daughters.
Our middle daughter (Yes. I said MIDDLE. Some people steer clear of this word, but our family embraces it. GOD placed her in this position and she wears it proudly. We say she is the only one in the family GOD has chosen to be both a little sister and an older sister! What a place of honor!) turned 10. Or as we call it, she hit the double digits! In our family this means you get to go on a trip with Mom- The Double Digit Trip. So we planned the trip, made all the necessary arrangements and took off for a great adventure. We were about 15 minutes from home when our car started making a funny sound. So we prayed and asked GOD to take care of us and the car. My daughter has great faith and we both prayed this prayer believing GOD would answer it. The noise stopped. Out trip continued. A few minutes later, we had a blow out. We easily pulled into a new large gas station. My wonderful husband was ready to come. However, we were in a hurry and ready to get on with our day, so I asked him to let me get someone to help us change our tire rather than wait for him to drive to meet us. Holding my daughter's hand, I looked at one man as his car neared ours . . . and he drove right on past us! Then another man drove past us! Then a man walked out holding a coke, I knew he would help us. Our tire was shredded and had marked all over my car. It was obvious we needed help and this tire change was going to take more than just me doing it! He got in his car and drove away. It was Saturday morning, these men were in shorts, where were they going?!!! What had happened to chivalry? My husband always helps change tires, jump start cars, etc. We are teaching our son to help others- especially ladies. (We will also teach our daughters to change tires.) I was shocked that no one would help us. Maybe my next blog will be on raising boys to be gentlemen. Back to the tire situation in a minute . . .



The goal of the Double Digit Trip is a fun time celebrating the child turning 10. We focus on the child's interests and go for it. It doesn't necessarily mean shopping, but spending time and hanging out. I did, though, want to buy my daughter a treat on this trip. She is not a kid who asks for things or even likes to shop. So, I truly wanted to surprise her with something. When I told her this the morning of the trip, she could not come up with one thing she wanted. I was a little sad, but hiding my disappointment, I told her we would find a gift that would mean something to her. I never knew how GOD would do this . . .



Frustrated and not wanting to wait for my husband to drive to help us, I asked my daughter to pray with me again. We thanked GOD for protecting us during the blowout. Then we asked GOD to send us someone to help us change the tire. We claimed it in the "Name of JESUS." Then I told her we were going to go inside the gas station store and ask someone to help us. As we came close to the door a young man pulled up in his work truck and began walking toward the door with us. I smiled and asked him if he would help us change a tire. I knew he would. He said yes. I asked my daughter if she knew what the logo on his truck and shirt meant. She said, "I have no idea what GoodYear means." I told her it is a tire company. The GOD of the Universe sent a man from a tire company to help us change our tire! We praised GOD together! We also told the wonderful young man that he had been prayed for and was an answer to our prayer. He refused payment, but we snuck some money in his shirt pocket as a reminder of GOD's provision. We also called his boss to tell him what a great employee he had.

Now all of this matters why? GOD gave our daughter a gift for her Double Digit Birthday. No, not the gift I had wanted to buy her that day, but a lasting gift. A gift that would matter to her. A gift that would remind her for the rest of her life of the presence of her Heavenly Father at all times in big and small ways.

GOD has shown up in my life in astouding ways that would amaze people and fill blog after blog. But He has also shown up in my life in quiet unassuming ways that are not grandiose (to others) and do not have wild or fun stories. But, He has always "shown up." He never leaves. He just wants permission to be present, to act, and to be on the throne of our life.



"I thank you GOD for giving our daughter this gift on her birthday. I ask that we all remember your presence is a daily gift to us. Let us know you more as we love you and live in your presence."

jill

"You will fill me with joy in your presence."

Psalm 16:11

"In the Name . . . "

Much of my life I have loved the idea of prayer. It has been my solace. I have run to my Father in pain (Job 19:25-27), laughed with my Friend who is closer than a brother in happiness (Proverbs 18:24, Philippians 1:3-6), sought out advice in seemingly hopeless situations (Proverbs 3 5:6), cherished moments of joy through prayers of praise to GOD Almighty (Psalms 34:1), or sat with the GOD of the Universe as I poured out the deepest pain my mother's heart could know (Psalm 27). Prayer has always "worked." It has not always caused GOD to behave as I requested, but when I approached the Father with a mind and heart that allowed Him to mold and transform me as He wished, wow . . . it really did something.

My prayers come in many forms- just ask my sweet family. I pray alone, with just my husband, just one child, just my three kids, as a family, or with friends. My prayers can be short or long. I used to sing a short prayer as I lifted each of my babies from his or her crib in the morning: "Good Morning, GOD! This is your day. I am your child. Show me your way." (Being the mom of a newborn, this was always just as much for me as it was for them!) I love to use Scripture when praying to the Lord. I also enjoy using a journal for my prayers. (It is convicting to see how egocentric my prayers are when I journal them!) Often when I pray, I try to follow certain formats (ACTS- adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication) or I try to limit my prayer time to just praise, and then later I will go back and have a second prayer time for other needs.

In our family, we always include our kids in prayer- since day 1. Moms, teach your kids to pray. If you fear praying out loud, start praying in front of your kids. GOD loves simple prayers (Matthew 6:7). I teach my girls at our church that "I love you, Jesus." is a complete prayer- and it is! Moms, praying for your children in front of them will change the trajectory of their lives! Go for it! My kids are even OK when I let a few tears slide down the side of my face!
What a blessing it is, too, when as a mom you can ask your child to join you in prayer and even to pray for you! We regularly share age appropriate prayer requests with our 3 kids and let them take the lead. They get to grow and develop a prayer relationship with their Heavenly FATHER. They also realize that prayer does not go through dad and mom, nor does it just happen when dad and mom are present and say it is time to pray.

I think a key element to prayer is praying in the name of JESUS. I have had several times in my life when all I could do was say, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" over and over again. There is something about this name and all of the names that GOD uses to reveal Himself to us. Several verses in Scripture relating to this that I suggest reading are:
Psalm 20, 115:1
Psalm20:7 “. . . We trust in the name of the LORD our GOD.”
Proverbs 18:10 “The name of the LORD is a strong tower and the righteous run to it.”
Matthew 6:9 “This is how you should pray: “Our Father in heaven Holy is your name . . . “
John 14:13&14
Philippians 2:9 “Therefore GOD exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name.”
Isaiah 12:4 “Give thanks to the LORD, call on His name; make known among the nations what He has done, and proclaim that His name is exalted.”

When we pray in His name we get to know Him better. He reveals Himself to us more. Then we get to know His will more. All prayer should be aligned with GOD's will. This is hard, because we are one part of the conversation! So, we have a perfect FATHER listening to an imperfect child! Therefore, we must also listen. Several nights in a row I woke at 4:00am. My usual plan is to pray. This worked and I fell back to sleep three nights in a row. The fourth night I could not. Around 5:00am I realized, I was to "Be still and Know I am GOD" (Psalm 46:10). GOD wants to grow us and shape our hearts for relationship with Him. He cannot do this if we are always doing the talking. He wants to prepare us for a close abiding relationship, through the revelation of Himself as we pray in His name.

Prayer is and has been my security blanket. GOD has wrapped me in His presence through the relationship of prayer. I will by GOD's grace, and through much prayer, pass on this love of prayer to my children.

"FATHER, thank You for prayer. Thank You for JESUS and Salvation. Grow my heart into who I need to be for You. In the Name of JESUS I pray. I love You, Lord!"

jill