Waiting

Two months ago today, my husband and I stood before a judge in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and promised that we would care for our daughter forever. We promised to make her ours.

Today, two months later, we still wait to bring her home. In Ethiopia, you are required to make two trips in an adoption. The first visit is for court. The second is for the U.S. Embassy appointment and to bring the child home. We are still waiting on that second trip. We have had various delays--her medicals not being completed in time one week; an x-ray that was needed the next week; and then last week, a letter that the Embassy has requested. As each week passes, our emotions build as we desperately long for our daughter to come home and join our family. We wait and wonder what God could possibly be doing when we know that He has already promised her to us. Why would He delay? And the answer, simply put, is I. have. no. idea.  I don't know why we're waiting. But, I know that there is a reason, and I know that whether I ever know that reason or not, it is part of God's plan.

In the Bible study I am in, we are studying Genesis this year. Today we were talking about the life of Isaac, and I heard it said that when Isaac prayed on behalf of his wife, Rebekah (who was barren), he was praying in accordance with the promise that God had already made. He was praying for God's will.  Though it was 20 years between Isaac and Rebekah's wedding day and the birth of Jacob and Esau, it was the plan God had promised. And it was fulfilled.

I would imagine that Isaac and Rebekah did not intend to wait twenty years before their babies were born. I would guess that Isaac's prayer did not include the words, "Please let us wait for a really long time before Rebekah is able to have children." But that was God's plan. And even though it wasn't what they expected,--and probably not the timing they even hoped for--they trusted the Lord and remained faithful to Him as they waited.

The Lord has made a promise to my family as well. He has promised us this child. And I know that when the Lord makes a promise, He always keeps it. "The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it." (I Thessalonians 5:24). It hasn't been fulfilled in the timing I would've liked, but it will be brought to fruition. Our daughter will come home--and it will be worth the wait.

What has the Lord promised you that you are waiting on right now? Do you believe He will do as He says? Like Isaac, are you willing to pray in accordance with God's will, even if it means that the answer to the prayer may not come for twenty years? What do you need to lay at His feet even now, trusting that He will answer at just the right time?

I know it isn't easy.  The past two and a half years--and especially these last few months--have been the hardest wait I've ever experienced, but my God is the same God through it all.  He loves me. He loves you. Will you trust Him in the wait?

The Waiting

If I have a favorite thing to do, it most certainly is not waiting.

Waiting is atrocious. I think this is why I like to utilize technology so much. Think about it. If I can carry around an iPhone with me all day long, I virtually have to wait for NOTHING. No waiting in line at the pharmacy. No waiting in line to buy movie tickets. No waiting in traffic because the GPS function tells me where back-ups are. No waiting at the bookstore because I can just order a book from the Amazon app and have it delivered directly to my house. No waiting on international or local news because I can just check Twitter every 30 seconds or so and find out what’s going on somewhere, anywhere on the planet. AND no being put on hold at the pizza place because I can also just order my pizza from my favorite pizza place’s app! It’s FABULOUS!

So this world that I live in and consistently surround myself with conditions me to never have to wait….for anything…ever. So when I’m getting the signal in my spiritual life to “wait” I usually have a huge problem with that.

Waiting requires patience. Waiting requires not having the answer right away. Waiting requires faith and lots of it. I am so conditioned in my daily life to be able to “google” something and immediately find an answer to some question that I have, I get perturbed when I can’t just google answers to questions like, “Lord, who do I know who needs to know You?” “Lord, what does my future look like?” “Lord, why have You not given me what You’ve given other people that I know are no bigger or better Christians than I am?”

There are lessons in the waiting. And in the waiting, my faith builds. And builds. And gets stronger. And larger. Until my faith is something larger than me and my ego and any hardships that might come my way in my lifetime.

But until my faith expands to that large capacity, there are many lessons left to be learned in the waiting. The waiting doesn’t give me the answer, but God does. And when God wants me to wait, I will wait and trust and broadcast to everyone around me what God is teaching me in the waiting.

And I will trust that what I’m learning in the waiting might just be greater than that which I’m waiting for.

The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.” — Genesis 12:1

Waiting

Who among us likes to wait? Whether it's a newly engaged couple longing for their wedding day, a mother longing for her baby to be born, a father waiting for his son to return from war, or a student waiting for the last bell to ring before summer vacation, we as a people generally do not like to wait. We want it now--or yesterday would be even better!

Waiting is not something most of us do well. Yet there are times (dare I say many times?) that this is what God has for us. His timing is not like ours, and so we find ourselves waiting for what seems like an eternity (but may only be a week).

Sometimes we learn later why the wait was a good thing or we see something different (better) that came out of that time, but sometimes we are left wondering what in the world God was doing. Sure, we might say we trust His timing, but I think we could all admit to occasionally secretly wondering WHY. Why is this taking so long? Why aren't You doing what I want? Why, Lord?!

I, for one, do not like to wait. I like to feel like I'm in control, and I like things to happen on the timeline I had planned. (Some people would even tell you that I always said I'd get married when I was 23. Wanna take a guess at when I got married? 23--Evidently, God had the same idea for me with that one--and I am grateful.) All that to say, God has been working on me for awhile now on surrendering control and trusting Him. And I thought I was doing a much better job of it...but evidently, I still have some learning to do....

We are in the process of adopting internationally. We started our application on August 16, 2010 and were on the wait list by January 4, 2011. Things were moving at a great pace, and it looked like we'd get a referral and possibly one or both travel dates this year. And then things stopped. Completely. Since we have been on the wait list, not one referral has been given through our agency for our particular country (and we are 100+ on the list based on our best guess). In recent weeks, there has also been some information regarding our particular country which has led us to wonder even more how many years we might actually be looking at when we thought it would be this year.

To be honest, this wait that had suddenly seemed "doable" suddenly became more than I could bear. I was heartbroken, confused, and just at a loss. I cried before the Lord, asking Him to help me understand. And this is what He said, "The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it." (I Thessalonians 5:24) "The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still." (Exodus 14:14)

Every part of me wanted to believe Him at His Word, but I still felt overwhelmed. Lord, this wait is too hard. It's too long. When will we get our daughter? How many years will we have to wait? But, in the midst of the hard, I kept praying...and I kept asking others to pray. And God has started working on my heart.

The wait is still before us. It still has no end in sight. But, the God of the Universe has told me that He will do this, so I am choosing to trust Him. Yesterday, He spoke to me again, and He said, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13)

I feel hopeful again--not because my circumstances have changed but because my God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and He has promised to fight for me. He will do it--maybe not in the timing I had planned, but He will. And in the meantime, I pray that I might overflow with hope....

I don't know what you might be going through right now, or what you might be waiting on, but I know that the Lord is with you. He takes great delight in you. He rejoices over you with singing. He is faithful and just, and He works all things together for good for those who love Him. He is big enough, strong enough, GOD enough to handle whatever you're feeling. Lay it before Him. Trust Him. He is worthy of all our praise. And whatever He has for you, it's worth the wait.